AN ODE TO MY WIFE

NOTE: If you are looking for an RVing blog. don't bother reading this. This post is dedicated to my lovely lady who is about to undergo a life-altering surgery.

And as far as "odes" are concerned, I'm not much of a poet, but I will confess to writing a number of rather bawdy odes during my adolescence, which I must admit lasted well into my college years.

Now, for my Lady Suzy, and my ode:

Here's to my wife, the light of my life!

'Nuff said -- how can I go on? As most of you know, Suzy is scheduled for bariatric surgery Tuesday. Tomorrow, Monday, she goes into a day of liquid only diet: chicken broth, herbal tea, sugar free clear Jell-O (and you thought only RVers plans were carved in Jell-O!), sugar free Popsicles, clear high-protein drinks, and lots of water. Tuesday, there's absolutely nothing from midnight except two small sips of water to down a few of her necessary prescriptions.

For the past two weeks, Suzy has (1) totally abstained from alcoholic beverages, (2) cut to decaffeinated coffee for one week, then to herbal tea for the second week, (3) ignored white foods such as potatoes, rice, bread, (4) measured her input of everything else. This evening, for a truly "last hurrah" -- the last real full meal she will ever eat (yes, that's entirely accurate), Suzy ate 2.5 ounces of New York Steak, a big plate of raw veggies dipped into a little bit of light balsamic dressing, and one third of a medium orange for dessert. And she reports that she was completely satisfied!

What's the future after surgery? Well, at home she will drink lots of non-caloric fluids, gradually adding some high-protein supplements. At the end of the second week, she'll start taking some vitamin preparations and one half of an egg. You read that right: one half of an egg (not fried, not hard boiled) every day for a week.

In the fourth week, and through the eighth week after surgery, she'll be able to eat (for one meal a day) 1/4 cup of certain soft foods, such as tofu, canned chicken, black bean soup, or broiled tilapia. (I'm exaggerating here for emphasis, but not very much.).

By week nine, and for the next four months, she can have up to two meals a day, each consisting of a quarter cup of the same soft food, but also adding to the mix (for a total 1/4 cup per meal) maybe some steamed vegetables, calf's liver, or peeled apple.

After six months, the world is hers, in very small doses. She will learn what foods she can tolerate. She will find that she has little appetite for some things, and seldom will feel hunger. No alcohol will still be the rule. I expect neighbors will hear moans of "Not Fair!" "I want to eat more than this!" or "How did I get into this position." Suzy herself may join into these moans from me, but I think she won't, as she is going into this with her eyes wide open, expecting a new lease on life to be the result.

So, join me in this ode to My Lady, and enjoy this evening's sunset, from the road out in front of the vehicles of ... Our Life on Wheels.